NEWSLETTERS REMOVAL REQUESTS

The following were actual remove requests from newsletters. Emails were left as they arrived. They are presented for fun and perspective. 

We honor all remove requests as soon as we receive them and apologize in advance for any delays in removing someone from a list once we receive the request. I guess the message here is a) people are frustrated by overloaded emails b) people should lighten-up c) they make some interesting points  or d) all of the above.

• Stick your junk mail up your butt.  Thanks
• Remove.  You are an idiot.
• no no no - no more mail please
• PLEASE REMOVE AND DO NOT BUT ME ON ANY OTHER LISTS.  THANK YOU
• PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE for the last time I'M BEGGING YOU!!!!!
  STOP EMAILING ME!!!!!  Rose left the company last august and I don't need to be on one more list. If you keep emailing me a pox upon you and all your children! STOP NOW and DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS DAMN YOU!
• PLEASE REMOVE ME FROM YOU EMAIL LIST, THIS IS A GOVERNMENT EMAIL ADDRESS AND FOR PUBLIC USE ONLY!!!!!
• Nicole Kidman?  A source of "wisdom?"  She may have risen through the normal challenges of life, and her efforts to help her mother were laudable, but the fact that she is a media darling hardly qualifies her as a source of wisdom.  As far as I'm concerned, her "art" has become more sleze than anything else.  You've lost all credibility with me.   If this is the best you can do, please remove me from your list. 
• Thank you for thinking of me regarding "Beyond Tactics"; however, my sales are not doing well. I have no time to read about how to improve my selling skills.  Please remove my name from your mailing list.
• Remove me now or I will be forced to escalate this request to legal...as you can see, this is my second email to you, dumbass.
• Your email has good information on communication but I am not allowed to get personal email messages at my work.  Since I do not think I know you I would like to ask that you delete me from your list.  Thanks.
• Could you please remove me from your email list ???  I appreciate the thought handsome, but honestly, I'd rather spend my time on Match.com to meet men...not just get "words of wisdom" from them...;-). So unless you want to take me out on a date and marry me, you can't be very wise.
• I normally hit the DELETE key when I get spam, but the quality of your e-mail deserves comment.  I don't ever recall seeing such a glitched up, unattractive piece of marketing material:  (1) the graphics didn't come through; (2) the links don't work; (3) you use five different font colors in the space of one page--one of which is extremely unattractive (olive); you use at least five different type sizes, which makes the flow very jumpy; (4) you use bold, italics, and fonts in an indiscriminate fashion, which gives your pitch a very amateurish look.  I'm sure that these problems negatively affect your sales.   The good news is that a graphic designer could crank out a high quality format for you in about an hour.  I note that you are in California where there is an abundance of good graphics people.  Put one to work!
• This is my work email. I don't have time for learning to communicate better. I communicate fine. Remove this address immediately from your list!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!