What brings on parent-child relationships in an adult world? - Fear, hurt, and anger. What do parent-child relationships create in an adult world? - Fear, hurt, and anger! Which is why successful organizations avoid these relationships.

Here's a quick example:

In an adult-adult relationship, a new salesperson is hired and given an activity level that will be measured (so many calls, so many emails, etc. along with an expected sales result) because sales will not come in right away from their efforts. The activity level is the commitment that will guide future decisions as the sales results are tracked. If activity levels agreed to are not met and expected sales are not coming in, then it is clear the 'ownership' is the salesperson's. If the activity levels are met and expected sales are not coming in, then possibly it is a market issue, a product issue, a training issue, or a sales skill issue and that information can be used in the decision-making process.

In a parent-child relationship, a sales quota is established and if not met, then blame and accusations ensue as decisions are made.

The same types of dysfunctional behaviors appear in other parts of an organization that operate on a parent-child relationship model.

So what can you do to make sure you operate in adult-adult relationships? Keep talking, keep measuring activities, and keep working to clearly define 'ownership'. If you do, you will minimize the times you begin to hear yourself sounding just like one of your parents when they were reprimanding you.

Wishing you all the best in your quest to enhance your communication.