Did You Hear What Joe Did?

Changing Responsibilities / New Opportunities
By Jeffrey Hansler, CSP

The long-term objective is retaining your staff, an obvious competitive edge. The daily objective is ‘How do I deal with the fears and gossip that spring up in my organization?’ that become the issues of a revolving door operation that is devastating to moral and finances. 

One way a garden center retains staff is by developing a family atmosphere of trust. The key is to keep that atmosphere when influences, outside and internal, economic and social, place pressures on your organization. These pressures can create fears and stress that are displayed in a variety of ways – including gossip. 

The easiest way to create a safe environment is dealing openly and with a natural caring for individuals and the contributions they make to the organization. 

As pressures of society continue with increasing number of divorces, single-parent households, and technology isolation, the “extended family” of your organization can become a vital support area for staff during mildly emotional times and during crisis. During difficult times, caring support helps us through the crisis by providing an acceptable outlet for fear, anger, and hurt. It allows us to process these emotions by talking about them to those we trust. As the extended family, caring co-workers can often be that support. In supporting each other, they further enhance relationships, and make a formidable force for helping the organization met the challenges of business. By creating an environment of trust through open communication, individuals within your organization can offer real assistance and support to other employees at a time when they need it most. 

The problem is the very environment that nurtures during times of need can become fertile ground for gossip, just like a warm moist environment is good for plants, it also feeds other life forms. Similar to unwanted mold and bacteria growth, gossip makes a much less efficient workplace and a counterproductive situation to the benefits of a family environment. 

The solution is recognizing that the driving forces behind the need for support and the cause of gossip are the same. In it’s simplest terms, emotional crisis stems from loss or fear of loss. The emotions felt are anger, hurt, and fear. Each of us has a certain capacity to deal with these emotions. We gained our skills through our experiences. If we were raised in a safe environment, where we received support, we probably developed good relationship skills and abilities to deal with emotions. 

If we faced trauma, at any variety of levels, where we did not feel we had a safe environment for receiving support, then we were at risk for not developing the skills critical to deal with our emotions. More importantly, some develop the potential to push away from relationships when they need them most.  If we cannot work through the process of dealing with the incident, of processing it, socially unacceptable and even self-destructive behavior may manifest. 

Gossip is one of those manifestations. It is fear being expressed in a form that causes separation between others with a misguided attempt to build alliances through whisperings. The reality is gossip erodes the existing trust that is required for healthy relationships. As a result, more trust is lost and the entire organization suffers from the backbiting. The irony is that a safe environment may actually precipitate a disclosure of issues through gossip just because it is “safe” and is thus more caring in dealing with mistakes, including engaging in gossip. 

The solution is to deal with gossip without bringing a psychiatrist’s couch to the office. In the movie, “Crocodile Dundee”, Sue Charlton (played by Linda Kozlowski), the female news reporter is talking to Mick Dundee (Paul Hogan) about a person going to a therapist. She then asks, if they don’t have psychiatrists “down under”. He responds by saying no they don’t need them. In the outback, if someone has a problem they tell Wally Reilly (played by John Meillon), the town busybody, and he tells everyone else, and then no more problem. No more problem because there’s nothing to hide anymore thus terminating the roadblock and opening the road to relationships. 

Create a safe environment by bringing the issue out in the open, clarifying the damage that it causes, and expressing what drives the gossip: fear. Continue to seek out and focus on the issue from which the fear stems by asking questions like What exists in the organization that is creating fear and fear of loss? Gossip breeds in the dark, in environments where there are secrets, and secrets breed greater fears. 

Fears are not the issue. It is how the fears are dealt with that make the difference. The situation that causes the fear may be very real. Sally may have her schedule changed. Bill may be better at dealing with customers than Joe. Rita may be better than Teri at caring for the plants, and if business doesn’t improve, Teri may lose her job. The fact is that by turning away from gossip, which erodes support and relationships that during these times of crisis people can get support from the organization. The reality is that Teri may lose her job if business doesn’t improve. The difference is whether or not she can retain the relationships that might be able to help her through the career change. And if the people can help her through the change, then others will feel they will have help when they need it, and you will nourish the extended family feeling in your organization, even through the difficult times.

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Jeffrey Hansler is a professional speaker, author, and consultant. He is a frequent speaker at association events and is the author of Sell Little Red Hen! Sell! He can be reached at jhansler@oxfordco.com.

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© 2008 Jeffrey Hansler  All rights reserved